


Overwatch Science and Winston's Problems

by hackerman



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Texting, chatfic, my first chatfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-27 11:25:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13247235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hackerman/pseuds/hackerman
Summary: Overwatch science makes no sense. Neither do anyone's abilities.Flashbang: No science neededWraith form (ghost mode): seems legitNinja deflect: ...





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Overwatch Emergency Communication Channel (I Swear, It's Emergency Only)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7324573) by [ArcaneAdagio](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcaneAdagio/pseuds/ArcaneAdagio). 



Winston opened [Overwatch Communication Channel]

Winston added @everyone to [Overwatch Communication Channel]

Winston: Welcome to Overwatch, new agents, and hello again to others. As I do not know many of you personally, I would like to ask how your abilities work so that in the future it will be easier to know what roles suit you best. 

Lena Oxton: hi big guy!

Lena Oxton: wait my names wrong

User {Lena Oxton} changed name to {Tracer}

Tracer: Thats better

Winston: Please remain serious @Tracer @everyone

User {Satya Vaswani} changed name to {Symmetra}

Symmetra: I must agree.

User {Hana Song} changed name to {D.Va}

D.Va: NOPE

D.Va: DANK MEMES INCOMING

Winston: Oh god. This was a mistake. 

User {Jesse McCree} changed name to {McCree}

McCree: Why is everyone's name messed up

User {Athena} enabled {CALLSIGN PROTOCOL}

Athena: All users' names have now been changed to their callsigns, Winston.

Winston: Thank you, Athena.

Genji: @Winston Why must I suffer again

Genji: This hurts almost as badly as dying @Hanzo

Hanzo: Stop. 

Genji: wwwwwww

Hanzo: Stop or else.

Genji: nah

Mercy: Genji, if you die again, I'm not fixing you.

Mercy: You didn't have insurance the first time. 

Genji: N O 

Junkrat: SO CAN I BLOW HIM UP 

Mercy: No.

Mercy: @everyone Don't be stupid like last time. 

Soldier: 76: Mercy is scary. Obey her. Remember the barbecue incident.

McCree: How did you know about that

Genji: who are you

Tracer: take that mask off

Soldier: 76: I'm going to train.

Tracer: YOU'RE NOT LEAVING

Winston: Oh no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: Updates will be as frequent as possible. If not, expect updates every Monday afternoon.


	2. Genji/ big reveals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genji shows off
> 
> Mercy gets pissed at all the old people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter summary
> 
> First half focuses on genji
> 
> Second half focuses on other fluff and stuff

Winston: Genji, if you would introduce yourself.

Genji: I'm Genji Shimada. I'm a green cyborg ninja. My brother nearly killed me but I'm fine now @ Hanzo

Hanzo: STOP.

Winston: Abilities?

McCree: that green dragon

Genji: his name is udon

Mercy: y u do dis

D.Va: thats old

Winston: Back to the question please.

Tracer: he deflects shit

Genji: I also do ninja stuff

Hanzo: Climbing walls, super fast leap forward and slash thing, and flipping. He's insufferable about it.

McCree: how does that green dragon work anyways

Genji: idk

Genji: you know the anime Blue Exorcist

McCree: the fuck is that

Tracer: genjis a weeb 

Reinhardt: THAT IS NOT HOW U USE IT MY FRIEND

McCree: what's a weeb

Genji: I NEED HEALING

Genji: Angela pls

Mercy: No. It's not my fault you died again.

D.Va: XD

Soldier: 76: Why are we arguing about weebs. 

Winston: Exactly. 

Genji: I think my sword summons my dragon from another world

McCree: no shit Sherlock 

Genji: fuck u

\---------------------------------------------

Tracer: THE BLOODY WANKER

McCree: IKR THE FUCKER

D.Va: what's a wanker

Soldier : 76: I have an explanation

Junkrat: DOES IT INVOLVE BOMBS

Mercy: Jack never used bombs once in that sentence

Mercy: but still

Mercy: Jack you son of a bitch

User {Mercy} changed chatroom name to {Shithole : 76}

Pharah: My wonderful gf

Pharah: please calm down, but jack. What the hell.

Mercy: fine

McCree: how are ya not dead

Tracer: ¥€]|+}€!]}+

::::::;;: ha

Winston: security is compromised. Get out

:::::::no

Reinhardt: I SPOKE AT YOUR FUNERAL YOU ARSCHLOCH SO IM GOING TO KILL YOU

Symmetra: What was that loud boom.

Winston: JUNKRAT WHY DID YOU USE AN ANTI TANK MISSILE ON JACKS ROOM

Junkrat: BBLOOOOOOMMMMM

Roadhog: oink.

Soldier :76: oh shit, reinhardts using his hammer on my door

Symmetra: Please reduce the noise.

Soldier :76: mercy help

Mercy: NOOOOO

Mercy: the doctor is IN

Tracer: oh shit

Ana: ha ha.

Reinhardt: YOU TOO

McCree: hello ma'am 

D.Va: who is this

Mercy: do you not know who she is

Soldier: 76: why are they bullying me and not you

Ana: I've got the best memes

Ana: and sleep darts

McCree: oh no

Soldier :76: argh that sdknneldjnejfnnfjg

D.va: what

Ana: I modified my sleep dart gun

Ana: it's now a sleep dart Uzi

Torbjorn: damn, most impressive

Zenyatta: jack, experience tranquility

Soldier: 76: thank you 

McCree: it ain't over yet


	3. McCree/ skiing w/ the enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> McCree Overview
> 
> Overwatch goes skiing

Winston: McCree, would you please state your abilities and role? 

McCree: i shoot the crap outta people 

Winston: And?

McCree: i flash people 

Tracer: wot 

Genji: my brother would like that

McCree: WAIT McCree: THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT

Soldier: 76: you did this back in blackwatch 

Genji: I remember 

Ana: not this again 

User {Athena} has banned "descriptions of the flashing incident"

McCree: I MEANT I USE FLASHBANGS

D.Va: kauboi pls

McCree: wtf

McCree: it's high noon 

TRAINING ROOM 5 TRANSCRIPT  
McCree: WTF ALL OF YOU

Genji: EAT SHIT 

Mercy: What happened. 

McCree: Genji deflected Deadeye

D.Va: I defense matrixed it

Reinhardt: I had a shield, child

Athena: Everyone else hid behind a wall.

McCree: Genji's deflect went into my prosthetic and set the wiring on fire

Mercy: Why must you do this to me

Mercy: @Genji: I'm taking away your charger.

Genji: NO 

Genji: IM GOING TO SHUT DOWN

Mercy: To borrow one of your phrases,

Mercy: EAT SHIT.

D.Va: ragebirdmom mode activated  
_________________________________________ 

McCree: Its high noon again

Genji: no its not high noon

Symmetra: It is currently 2:39 P.M. 

McCree: its high noon somewhere in the world 

Symmetra: You are incorrect. The other times in the world are 3:39, 4:39 

McCree: yeah i get it 

McCree: damnit

Tracer: i told you jesse 

Tracer: You just never listened 

McCree: shit

Soldier: 76: McCree, how did you not notice this 

User {Widowmaker} has entered {Shithole: 76} 

Tracer: ASDFJLKRGJPEQJPIJG

Tracer: !!!!! 

Widowmaker: I find it extremely surprising that an idiot such as this cowboy is able to do anything. 

McCree: stfu 

Widowmaker: Anyways, hello cherie. 

Tracer: wfrrrrrr 

Soldier : 76: did she pass out on the communicator again 

Soldier: 76: and also how did you get into this chat

User {Reaper} has entered {Shithole: 76} 

Soldier: 76: HOW MANY TALON AGENTS ARE THERE IN HERE 

Soldier: 76: AND REYES YOU PIECE OF SHIT 

Soldier: 76: Even the chatroom name is better than you.

User {Soldier: 76} changed chatroom name to {Motherfuckin' Edgelord}

McCree: Hold up

McCree: That's Reyes?

Hanzo: Finally.

Hanzo: You're using proper punctuation now. 

McCree: THATS NOT THE FUCKING POINT

Reaper: Gabriel Reyes is dead.

Soldier: 76: WHAT DO YOU MEAN

Soldier: 76: YOU TRIED TO KILL ME OUTSIDE CAIRO AND SAID YOU WERE REYES

:::::::::::::: : yup hes gabe

Reaper: You betrayed me. 

Reaper: I'm coming after you Olivia.

D.Va: wait so :::::::::::: is called Olivia

D.Va: she hacked my stream yesterday

::::::::::::::: : yeah but pls dont call me that

User {::::::::::::::} changed name to {Sombra}

Sombra: hello

Tracer: @Everyone Hey

Tracer: Winston would like to say

Tracer: we are going skiing

Winston: If you would like to bring someone with you, please notify me

Tracer: im bringing my wonderful gf emily

User {Tracer} has changed chatroom name to {SKI TRIP TOSSERS}

DIRECT MESSAGE: Users: {Tracer} and {Widowmaker}

Tracer: Can you come too?

Widowmaker: Why not.

DIRECT MESSAGE: Users: {Soldier: 76} and {Reaper}

Soldier: 76: I miss you.

Reaper:... Same.

Soldier: 76: you coming?

Reaper: Sure. 

Soldier: 76: :)

Reaper: That is the first time you have ever used an emoji.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments are appreciated

**Author's Note:**

> everyone's a troll except for the serious people  
> winston is drowning in problems
> 
> Translations:   
> wwwww= laughter


End file.
